


You love the me that is behind an invisible mask

by Brainmuncher



Series: Learning to love yourself [1]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Akumatized Chat Noir, Angst, Anxiety, Bittersweet at times, Chat Noir Needs A Hug, Depressing, Depression, Eventual Happy Ending, Hawk Moth is Gabriel Agreste, I'm Bad At Tagging, Mild Language, Self-Hatred, Tags Contain Spoilers, Tags May Change, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, What Have I Done, im also bad at titles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-26
Updated: 2018-08-06
Packaged: 2019-06-16 20:11:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 12,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15444903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brainmuncher/pseuds/Brainmuncher
Summary: "Hi kitty,” She greeted him with a sense of happiness that he couldn’t understand.Although he knew that he had to pretend. He could do it. He did it every day anyway… why not pretend as Chat too?“Hello, m’lady.” He said, forcing himself to give a confident smirk.She gave a snort and turned away. Perfect, you did great that time. That's probably what his photographer would have said at that moment."Chat steps in to see that Ladybug is watching a certain someone on the tv. He should have known that she wouldn't love the him that he actually likes. He should have known better than to get attached...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Lacuna](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14885060) by [mag_and_mac](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mag_and_mac/pseuds/mag_and_mac). 



> I must warn that this could trigger some really bad thoughts. I just want you to know because I care <3  
> stay safe.

He should have known really. Nobody really tried to look past the pretty smiles and fake confidence. They never thought that the guy they see on billboards and magazines isn't really Adrien Agreste. They were too busy loving everything that he despises because _it was all a show._ He would be lying if he said that at first, his heart leaped.

 

He saw ladybug staring, no, admiring the fragrance ad that started to play on a giant tv in town. He never really liked that ad. It made him look too happy too… light. He wasn’t like that at all. He was being held down at every corner with the responsibility of being perfect. It was even starting to bleed into his superhero life. How could anyone feel like they are in the clouds then?

 

Ladybug quickly turned to him as if she weren’t looking at all. The damage was already done though. Even now, Adrien Agreste was ruining his life.

 

“Hi kitty,” She greeted him with a sense of happiness that he couldn’t understand.

 

Although he knew that he had to pretend. He could do it. He did it every day anyway… why not pretend as Chat too?

 

“Hello, m’lady.” He said, forcing himself to give a confident smirk.

 

She gave a snort and turned away. Perfect, you did great that time. That's probably what his photographer would have said at that moment.

 

“The city is pretty quiet tonight. I don’t really think anything is going to be happening this time.” Ladybug said, turning to him.

 

Ah yes… The ‘you are just an acquaintance and nothing more’ look. He got it every day, but his heart was still too sore from the moment that just passed by.

 

“Does that mean you want to cut this night off short then?” He replied.

 

She shrugged and sat down on the roof. Good job dipstick, you’ve probably made her sad again. He sat down next to her but leaving just enough room for her to be comfortable. She was already unhappy because of him. He shouldn’t make it worse by bothering her further.

 

“I think I just want to relax tonight. We will still be around if something happens but… not exactly on edge, you know?” She said, giving him a soft look over her shoulder.

 

She isn’t even smiling anymore. Shes probably faking just to make you feel better. She totally just wants to get away from you right now.

“Yeah, I do Bugaboo.” He winked painfully. “I’m always that kind of relaxed with you.”

 

She rolled her eyes at him and looked down. You just had to flirt with her, didn’t you? You know that she hates it when you call her that. She isn’t even your lady, so why are you trying?

 

He let out a breath and looked down too, looking at his miraculous. He always felt lost and empty in life, before this ring came along. He suddenly had a purpose and had his own time to just be free. It was nice, but it was starting to fade off now. Yeah, he helped at first while Ladybug was still learning, but now he was just dead weight. She could easily and maybe even do it faster on beating an Akuma without him. Why was he still sitting here anyway? Just give her the ring and run off. She's Ladybug, she’ll know what to do.

 

“Chaton?”

 

He snapped his head up to see a worried looking Ladybug.

 

“Are you alright? You didn’t seem to hear me calling your name at all.” She asked, a worried seriousness in her voice making him want to answer immediately.

 

“Oh, I’m just a bit tired. Little spacey right now.” He laughed off.

 

Her worried expression didn’t quite disappear but it wasn’t as desperate now. Great now you have made her worried. She shouldn’t have to worry about you. You aren’t worth worrying about.

 

“Maybe we should cut tonight off early. I want you to get a good night's sleep tonight you hear?” She spoke the words, but he barely listened.

 

See? What did I tell you, she wants to get away from you. You had to be selfish though and make her stay anyway, didn’t you? Now, look what you’ve done.

 

“I’ll see you tomorrow hopefully. Okay, kitty?” She said again to which he just nodded.

 

“I don’t have to wait since you’ll be there in my dreams.” He grinned at her, feeling unbearably fake.

 

It was like his facial muscles were heavy and just didn’t want to form such a fake expression. They are probably tired of all this faking too.

 

“Bye kitty.” She laughed slightly, obviously not that amused at the moment.

 

He watched her as she got up. She was a blinding star among the night, making her all that beautiful. She took out her yoyo and swung it far before swinging away. The way her hair fluttered from the wind and how she expertly landed was enough to bring a little joy in his heart. She really was the star of Paris. A star so bright that he looked like a black hole in comparison. Or maybe he was like dark matter. Something that nobody really knew about, and even when they did they barely understood if he was even real. Yeah, he wasn’t a black hole, that was too well known and cool. He was just the dark matter of the group, something that is truly not one of a kind.

 

He sighed as his gaze was now facing the dreaded tv that played the ad. She had to swing that way right? It almost felt like she was trying to send him a message. She doesn't like him, she likes the idea of him. Adrien isn’t him and yet that's what she likes.

 

You would think that having that realization would make someone sad. He had no more room for sadness, however. Or more rather, that's all he felt anymore so it didn’t make a difference. He was so lost in thought that a light sound that wasn’t there before didn’t catch his attention. The light sound fluttered over to him, before landing on the bell of his suit. It was only then that he had realized what was happening.

 

“Hello, Chat Noir. I am Hawkmoth.”

 

He thought that he would have some great reaction if this ever happened. Like he would suddenly have this confidence boost and tell him off. Or that he would be able to just break the akumatized thing from himself before Hawk Moth could even speak. Instead, he only felt a cold chill run up his spine as he stood like a hanging marionette doll. This was wrong… this shouldn’t be happening.

 

“You feel unappreciated by Ladybug and completely invisible. You feel like you are alone…” Hawk Moth stated, starting his speech.

 

He could almost feel himself immediately lulling into submission to those words. The sorrow in his voice… the soft tone… It was comforting in a weird way. And in truth, he really was feeling that way. He really did feel alone. A little part of him was still fighting though deep in his mind, reminding himself that this was hawkmoth. There was going to be some revenge speil right? He didn’t want revenge, he didn’t hate anyone else for what's going on.

 

“If you make this deal with me I can make those feelings disappear. You can be noticed, you can be who you have always wanted to be. You can even have Ladybug in the end. All I ask is that you give her miraculous to me first.” Hawk Moth continued, Chat practically hear the smile in his voice.

 

He felt himself slipping, like slowly falling asleep. He shouldn’t be doing this… but you can be free! I can’t… You must! I…I’m…….

 

“Yes Hawk Moth.” he felt himself say, a hidden maliciousness in his voice that he wasn’t used to using before.

 

By now his last thoughts were completely gone, wiped away by the promise of enlightenment. What was he so worried about anyway? This was his time to be everything he has wished to be. This was his time to finally be a real star.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marinette feels uneasy about something...

Marinette didn’t know why she had a bad feeling weighing down on her chest. It started after she had gotten home after seeing Chat. Usually, at this time, she would find herself looking at a picture of Adrien to lull herself into a comfortable sense of peace.

The feeling started as a light squeeze in her chest that she could ignore. Now that she was all dressed for bed and laying under the covers, however, she was feeling the brutal realization. She just couldn’t understand the suffocating feeling. Why was she so worried? What could she possibly be she worried about? She didn't have a test tomorrow, did she? Shoot she forgot to study for Ms. Mendeleiev's class tomorrow. She had to skip out the last time too because of an Akuma.

Although that doesn't feel right. I don't think that was what she was really worried about. There is something else... but what?

“Marinette? You’re still awake?” Tikki questioned, noticing Marinette's hand subconsciously turn into a light fist.

Marinette turned to her tiny friend. Tikki only looked back at her with slightly worried eyes. It was still surprising to think on how old she really was. Tikki has probably seen it all. Maybe she’ll have an answer, she usually does. Taking a breath to prepare herself Marinette started to speak.

“I think something is wrong Tikki, I can feel it,” Marinette said aloud, a little surprised on how easy it was to talk despite the crushing weight upon her.

Tikki gave a questioning frown, obviously not liking the situation. For a second Marinette felt a small pang of regret to tell her kwami such a thing. Just as quickly as it appeared, however, it dissipated.

“What's wrong?” Tikki asked, leaving Marinette not sure on in what way she meant with the question.

Marinette sighed and sunk further into her pillow. She found herself slightly hugging the pillow she was laying her head upon. The cat pillow just didn't make her feel any better.

Tikki was still looking at her, making her slightly anxious. She should have probably answered her by now. She is only making her kwami even more worried. She held a fist to where her heart was, almost as if preparing for something drastic. It gave her a weird sense of comfort though, as it grounded her mind on the situation. It gave her the time to breathe out her anxiety, letting it go.

“Ever since I met up with Chat, I’ve had this feeling.” Marinette swallowed thickly before continuing. “I feel like something terrible is going to happen… Like a foreboding feeling of dread.”

She flicked her eyes back over to the kwami who still held the same frown as before. Marinette almost wished that she had said that faster.

“I think Chat was acting a bit weird tonight, no?” Tikki suggested, seemingly hoping to help the poor teen.

Marinette gave a confused look at Tikki, before thinking back to the encounter.

_She sighed as she stared at the tv. Radiant… Carefree… Dreamy… Adrien, the fragrance. Even after it was done playing she still looked at the tv dreamily. It felt like her heart was in the clouds with him. Maybe one day Adrien would notice her… maybe one day she could be the one to make him feel like he is in the clouds. She heard a slight sniffle making her turn. She realized that it was her, over self-confident, partner. Despite being so flirty and seemingly full of himself, she knew he cared deeply about others anyway. He was almost selfless in that way._

_“Hi kitty,” She greeted, a little still wrapped up in the dreamy Adrien haze._

_“Hello, m’lady.” Chat greeted back, giving that trademark Chat Noir smirk._

_It only made her snort, in which she turned away in embarrassment. She did not just snort! Okay, maybe she did… but if she just plays it cool he won’t notice. Only God knows how much he would tease her for months just for a little snort or laugh at one of his comedic attempts._

_“The city is pretty quiet tonight. I don’t really think anything is going to be happening this time.” She started to say, trying to be as casual as possible._

_She was thinking of going home and studying for Ms. Mendeleiev's class tomorrow. Although she wasn’t expecting him to… tense up? Maybe he's a little stressed out right now..._

_“Does that mean you want to cut this night off short then?” He asked, a certain tone behind it that she couldn’t quite place._

_She tried to pinpoint the sound before deciding she should probably just stay a little longer just to loosen his mind a bit. Everyone needs a break every once in a while. And she figured that the tone in his voice was probably just from being stressed about his civilian life. He never talked about it much, as they couldn't really, but he would often show up with his hair fashionably brushed back or with some makeup to highlight his face._

_She could only guess that he was probably a brother or something. Maybe his little sister liked to dress him up. He did seem like the caring type to just let her do whatever to him, even if that includes tea parties and makeup._

_She looked at him carefully, noting that he wasn't in any hair clips or any glittery highlighter. Maybe he had a rough day without his sibling or something._

_“I think I just want to relax tonight. We will still be around if something happens but… not exactly on edge, you know?” She tried to compromise, hoping that was the answer he would like to hear._

_He seemed pretty fine with it though as she looked at him. Yeah, she was just imagining things. He was probably just having a bad day, that's all._

_“Yeah, I do Bugaboo.” He winked playfully. “I’m always that kind of relaxed with you.”_

_She rolled her eyes in response, trying to play it cool. It was then that she found herself looking down at her lap. If he was still being flirty, then there must be nothing wrong. Her mind was probably just making things up because it was still too focused on the blonde pretty boy that she loved. She almost wanted to snort again at that thought. That was probably one of the more weirder names she has referred Adrien too. Right behind banana head cinnamon roll child. She will never forget calling him that accidentally in front of Alya._

_She looked back up with a smile, expecting to see Chat doing the same. Instead, it seemed that he was focused on his lap as well. She couldn’t help but let out a little-confused noise. It was a small noise but it was much louder than she wanted it to be. She immediately regretted it and started to say a ton of excuses._

_“Chat you did not hear that from me it uh… was a bird!” She said frantically, her voice slightly higher pitched than normal._

_It was only when she opened her eyes after her flustered rambling that she realized he heard absolutely nothing. It was like he was in his own world. Stopping her frantic movements, she scrunched her face in slight worry. Then she tried waving a hand in front of him to gain his attention. It didn't seem to be working._

_"Kitty, you alright?" She tried, hoping that the nickname would break his dazed daydreaming._

_“Chat?”_

_Still no response._

_“Chaton?”_

_His head suddenly snapped up, his face looking as if he were just caught with his hand in the cookie jar. She would’ve laughed if it weren’t for the worry that was running through her._

_“Are you alright? You didn’t seem to hear me calling your name at all.” She asked him, hoping for an answer._

_If her partner needed to talk, she would most definitely be there for him. It didn’t really matter as long as he doesn’t use names (For their identities sake of course). She would still try to help. She noticed his face loosen up into a loose grin that softened the edge of her worries._

_“Oh, I’m just a bit tired. Little spacey right now.” He laughed, placing his hand behind his head as he always did when he was caught doing something._

_It was a breath of relief to know that there wasn’t anything terribly wrong. Her partner had no reason to lie to her for any reason. She trusted that he told her everything that he could, as she did with him._

_“Maybe we should cut tonight off early. I want you to get a good night's sleep tonight you hear?” She started to say seriously, tapping his chest lightly with her finger._

_She gave that look that mommas usually give when they have made up their mind. The same one her mother would give her whenever she didn't want to do a certain chore. He was going to sleep tonight even if she has to knock him out to do it... now she was starting to sound like her mother too._

_“I’ll see you tomorrow hopefully. Okay, kitty?” She told her friend, hoping that he understood that she was looking out for him because she cared._

_A small thought flashed through her, leaving a small weight on her chest at the thought. She couldn't bear the thought of him thinking she didn't care for him. Maybe she could bring a cupcake or two tomorrow. For some reason, she felt like she had to show him physically how much she cares. He is her partner, her best friend, she would only want to see him succeed and be happy._

_“I don’t have to wait since you’ll be there in my dreams.” He practically purred with that Cheshire cat grin._

_She felt herself trying to smile, but fought against it._

_“Bye kitty.” She tried to say without fault but felt herself laughing anyway._

_He was probably going to be very pleased with himself because of her laughing at the flirt. She could almost see his cheeky grin in her mind as she swung off. He was probably feeling very proud of himself right now._

Marinette’s eyes had been widened into a shocked state as she thought back. She forgot about that weird moment. She had just pushed it aside and thought nothing of it. Thought that maybe he was a little stressed and tired and needed a break. Maybe Tikki was right with this. Maybe this feeling that was brewing inside her was for her partner… what if she subconsciously picked up on something.

“Marinette?” Tikki questioned, realizing that her chosen had been quiet for a long time now.

Marinette looked at her kwami with a blank look. She should have asked instead of assuming he was fine. He might have wanted to talk about his rough day with her, but she ignored him. How could she be so stupid?

A determined but yet worried look came across her face. Leaving Tikki to be a little surprised at first but, went with it easily afterward. She was a very wise person after all. She probably already read Marinettes mind before she could even speak her next words.

“I think you’re right Tikki,” Marinette said with the confidence she didn’t realize she had.

She got up from her bed, only to struggle a little against her tangled bedsheets. Once Marinette was free from the binds of her bed, she turned to Tikki who held a knowing look. She already knew what was coming next.

“Tikki spots on!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly thought this entire thing was just going to completely suck. I can only imagine that this probably feels repetitive. I hope you enjoyed this second part anyway. I am probably not going to post on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays, as I have those as my study days. School sucks Y'all.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope Y'all enjoy this one... idk I'm a little iffy myself. I don't think I wrote it that well but meh. It's the best I could do. I have already rewritten and revisioned it 6 times. :T

It was quiet, too quiet. It was like the city streets were put on mute. Ladybug swung from building to building, only to see that everything was totally peaceful. It wasn’t peaceful in a good way though, it was as if she were walking through a ghost town.

She watched with a weird sense of curiosity as a plastic bag flew by her. Just moments before she was sitting here with Chat. They were having a nice conversation and just chilling with each others company. How had so much changed in just an hour? Or wait... It's about two hours now, hasn't it? Man, how long had she been out here for?

With a confused frown, she jumped off from the building to the street below. She remembered civilians walking around earlier. She watched a man read a book while standing on the building then too, she remembered thinking about picking up the same book at the library since he seemed quite interested. There was no possible reason that everyone was just... gone. Then something did happen, something that startled Ladybug nearly out of her skin. Unluckily, it was something that did not help the already bad feeling in her chest.

"It's her!” A voice called out behind her, making ladybug turn.

A group of the city Persians was staring at her darkly as if she were a great threat. Her breath caught in her throat. It was only when they started to charge at her that she had the idea to jump back up to the roof she so carelessly lept off earlier.

She let out a quick and surprised breath after landing, still hearing vigorous thumps and angry screaming below. She didn’t understand what was going on. It was as if they hated her. She was still in shock from it all. Sure there were some that didn’t like the idea of Chat Noir and Ladybug, but they were never violent.

She had seen some news reports with reporters interviewing the few and finding out the reasons behind it. She had also gotten a peanut thrown at her whilst jumping from roofs one night. She would never really forget the pure confusion she felt as she stared at the criminal peanut in her hand. It was one of the weirder memories she had while being Ladybug.

Almost as if the city didn’t want her to get a break now that the ball was rolling, she was startled once more.

The sound of an explosion reached her ears, making her turn to it. There was a small dark smoke cloud hanging over one of the houses in the housing areas. She hastily raced over to see the cause of the cloud.

She felt like everything was suddenly going wrong. Her partner wasn’t having a good day, a group of Parisians tried to kill her, and now she was seeing something she couldn’t even imagine seeing. So far her dread had been right if only a little too weak of a warning for what was happening.

“I hate you! You are always thinking that you can just do whatever. Well, you know what Nino? You are a lazy bastard!” Alya screamed, staring down the boy before her with a piercing glare.

Ladybug felt tense and looked over to the side, seemingly trying to reject the sight before her. It seemed to only become even more real once she noticed that Alya was throwing all of Nino's things into a burning pile… including a blown-up computer. The grass below the pile was surely ashed by now, and she was slightly worried about Nino's house. If she was setting his most prized possessions on fire, what would she do to his house or worse... him?

“You really think you are so innocent ms ‘I have no privacy for others’?” Nino growled back, stepping forward to be face to face with the other.

Ladybug quickly jumped down, coming between the two. It seemed like they were about to start a physical fight at any moment. These were her friends, and she just couldn’t sit there and watch them destroy one another.

“Guys calm down!” She screeched. “Aren’t you two dating or something? I remember a post about it on the Ladyblog.”

Alya snorted and shoved the hero's hand from her. She wiped at the spot where Ladybug had touched as if wiping off germs from herself.

“As if I could ever love that guy. A slob is all he is.” Alya huffed with her arms now crossed tightly over her chest.

She looked over at Ladybug with a look that nearly made her melt. She turned to see Nino giving the same look. It was the look of pure hatred. Something that she only saw when around Chloe. She took a step back from the two, suddenly feeling the air around her change. This was almost worst than Chloe though. With Chloe, she could stand up and show whos boss. Right now though...

“He was right.” Nino finally growled, making Ladybugs head turn sharply to him.

“Who was right?” She asked, taking a step back.

They only followed her movements, stepping forward with every step she stepped back.

“You are the reason that I’m alone. You are the reason that everyone hates me.” Alya continued, seemingly thinking the same as Nino.

Ladybug felt the air get thin. Was it getting harder to breathe or was it just the terrible feeling from before now crushing her ribcage?

“I’m invisible thanks to you,” Nino said last, ending to what was barely a conversation, to begin with.

They suddenly picked up their pace, leading ladybug to full out run from them. She tried to not think about it, and control her breathing. With a leap and a helpful swing from her yo-yo, she was back on the rooftops of Paris. It was seeming to be the only safe place for her lately.

She leaned down to rest her hands on her bent knees. She was breathing heavily but it wasn’t for the fact of running, but rather out of the pure suffocating anxiety she was starting to feel. This wasn’t right. None of this was right. This was a nightmare, wasn’t it? Why wasn’t Tikki shaking her awake then?

“Wake me up Tikki.” She said in a whisper.

She had meant it to be much louder than that, but it seemed that she just couldn’t get herself to do anything. Instead, she was only left to stand there. She got up from her knees, still feeling horrible. Was this how it felt to wear a corset put on too tight? Feeling your entire being just mercilessly being crushed and not being able to breathe?

She took a breath in and held it there, before letting it all out in a big woosh. She had to be calm. There was a rational reason for all of this. All that she needed to do was find her partner to ask him for help with figuring out the situation. From there she can try to make sure he’s alright. Yeah, that’ll work. Good plan. She let out another breath before nodding to herself in confirmation that she could do this.

She started to do as before. Running and jumping from place to place. It was slightly lonely to her, as she would usually do this with Chat. Then they would have their own little races to certain places. Or play a giant version of hide and seek. That was always fun. She actually missed playing that particular game with the cat. Maybe that would cheer him up. Just the thought gave her more hope, and just a bit of courage she needed.

She stopped sharply when she saw something in the corner of her eye. It was a quick moment, but she knew that somebody was there. She turned and saw them hop down from the roof of the building into the street where she couldn't see. She gave a confused hum before sprinting after it.

She hopped down from where she saw them land. She lifted her head to look around, only to find herself frozen at the sight before her. It was like all the oxygen suddenly left her lungs.

“Hello, Ladybug.” He giggled.

It was wrong. No that sounded so wrong.

“Aww, what's wrong? Scared of little ol’ me?” He grinned, his practically glowing eyes not helping her nerves.

She swallowed, taking deep breaths. Keep calm. Make sure to ground yourself. You are okay, this will be okay. You can fix this.

“C-Chat?” She tried to say, only finding her voice to break midway.

He gave another laugh at that, ending it spontaneously with a harsh growl. It was a chilling laugh. It was something you’d expect from a madman, one that truly found something unremarkably hilarious. It was also extremely empty in a way that just made it all that worse.

“The names Copemate Execration bugaboo.” He grinned, using that trademark Chat Noir charm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Copemate- an antagonist; opponent.  
> a comrade; partner.
> 
> Execration- to detest utterly; abhor; abominate.  
> to curse; imprecate evil upon; damn; denounce


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Small battle scene :3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I uh drew a picture of Copemate Execration since I already know I am terrible at descriptions. I hope you enjoy this part and maybe even the picture. :P

 

With a sudden fierceness but leaving a cheerful giggle of glee in its wake, Copemate Execration swung at Ladybug with his cursed baton. She was quick to dodge it, nearly avoiding its catastrophic hit. Rubble was flown about as the baton struck the ground, leaving Ladybug no choice than to get to higher ground.

“Chat please!” Ladybug tried, now standing upon a car with multiple rocks breaking the windshield.

She wanted to imagine that there was some kind of guilt or at least anger in his eyes. Instead, it was just an empty grin, seemingly churning with an uneasy aura. Copemate struck once more, narrowly missing Ladybug as she backflipped away from the attack. She landed behind the car, slightly losing her balance from the flip.

She let out an exasperated breath and grabbed for her yo-yo. She took some steps back from the car, seeing Copemate follow her moves easily. Without warning, he chucked his baton at her. She screeched and spun her yo-yo, making the baton clank against her shield and fall to the ground in front of her. It now lay motionless on the ground in front of her. Something in her mind was telling her not to touch it, leaving her to only stand above it.

She breathed out a breath, feeling her adrenaline running through her veins. She could do this. He was weaponless now, what could he really do?

“Chat please listen to me. I don’t know why you are doing any of this. Just please fight against this and help me help you!” She called out for her partner once more, still having that dying ember of hope that Chat could help her.

Copemate Execration only seemed to laugh at this. He actually seemed to find it hilarious at the way he was laughing hysterically.

“You really think he is going to listen to **you**?” He barked, wiping at the small tears that collected at the corners of his eyes.

Before Ladybug even knew it, he raised his hand from his face. It was like he was calling for a dog or something. Ladybug jerked back as she saw the now purple baton blaze into a smoky mist, only to float to his hand and reform.

She was in trouble.

He had no mercy in the way he immediately started to attack again and again. Ladybug kept dodging the attacks, ignoring Copemates last words. He seemed to be having the time of his life as if this was all a sick game to him. He was having fun from all of this.

“Agh!” Ladybug groaned as his baton swung from seemingly nowhere.

She was knocked back into a rather large van. That wasn’t what she was focused on, despite the streak of pain that ran through her leg. It was the running thoughts that entered her mind without warning that kept her there dazed.

_Get up you useless brat!_

_Clumsy Marinette is not only unwanted but unneeded right now! Stop being an idiot and fight back! Or are you just going to give up and fail again like always?_

She had never experienced such thoughts as these. She sometimes had a thought or two like it, but only during an anxiety attack. Even then, they weren’t as hostile or… hurtful. She choked back her feelings, getting up to fight once more.

Only for a stabbing pain to go through her leg, and leave her to slightly cry out and lay back against the indent she made in the truck. She needed to get out of there. Not only was she a man down, but she was also injured now too.

With a huff, she started to lift herself from the indent. She was expecting to see the usual. Akuma staring daggers at her, posed in a fighting position. Instead, she found Copemate carelessly leaning against a car and cleaning his nails- er…. Claws? He was whistling a tune that Ladybug recognized to be from Vampire Knight.

Taking advantage of the opportunity, she grabbed at the yo-yo that had thankfully landed next to her. With a small grunt as she tried to take off. She didn’t make it far. Down the street and in a dark alleyway behind a box to be exact.

She let out a pained sigh as she de-transformed. Tikki was immediately trying to help by assessing the situation. Marinette let the small kwami check her leg as she leaned against the dirty wall, more focusing on refocusing funnily enough. She was pretty sure that she would have terrible marks on her pants but that didn’t matter at that moment. That was far from what she was worried about right now.

“I’m pretty sure you sprained your ankle. While you are transformed I can try to put extra energy into temporarily tightening the ligaments in your ankle to decrease the pain drastically. If you have any tears though I'm afraid I can’t numb the pain. You will also have even less time to run away after using your lucky charm, as I am using more energy than normal.” The small red kawmi started to blurb out, sounding like a professional doctor with how much she knew.

Marinette nodded, pretending to understand what the ligaments and stuff Tikki was talking of.

“Also… how long did Copemate Execration’s baton touch you?” The kwami now asked, still seemingly worried.

“Only a second. He jabbed me in the chest with it really hard though.” Marinette said all whilst rubbing the still sore spot with one of her hands.

“Oh thank goodness.” The kawmi breathed, making Marinette stop her unconscious hand movements to the sore spot and stare at the kwami.

Tikki looked up and realized her mistake of words and the lack of context in her sigh of relief.

“I was able to conclude something from the baton in the fight. I think he is draining his emotions into others with it.” Tikki explained. “I could feel the despair and hatred flow right through me. It was startling.”

Marinette was surprised at first, before thinking back to the encounter.

“I do remember feeling some rather harsh things after it touched me yeah. Although it doesn’t seem to be affecting me right now.” Marinette told her small friend.

She wasn’t expecting Tikki to suddenly zip into her bag though. She was about to ask when she heard an ominous scratching noise at the end of the alleyway. Marinette gathered some bravery and stood onto her unhurt leg.

There before her was none other than Copemate Execration, looking as if he wanted a round two in the fight.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fun fun fun fun! Hahaha! Lots of fun for everyone!

This is so fun! Despite the burning feeling from the ring on his hand, he was purely happy. This is what it feels to be happy right? He felt light and had no care, only thinking for himself. Yeah, that's what happiness was. Caring for yourself and nothing else? It probably was anyway.

 

He took extra care and attention to kick a lone teddy bear in the street. Ladybug ran over here somewhere, hadn’t she? Ooh, he loved a good game of cat and mouse!

 

He stepped along the street, smirking at the destruction. He created this. He made all this chaos. It was fun, oh so fun. Looking around a little more, it appeared that the bug might have actually gotten away. He was about to vault himself to a roof with his baton when he heard a noise. It caught his attention immediately, making his barely working cat ears twitch. Curiosity killed the cat.

 

But satisfaction brought it back.

 

He let his hand scrape across the wall as he walked. He hadn’t thought he would be going into an alley today. Guess he was getting to try all sorts of new things today, huh? New experiences are always a fun time!

 

A dark-haired head started to rise from behind a rather large box near the end of the alleyway. A small part of him wanted to just sit in the box she was hiding behind, but there was a much more interesting toy in front of him. He would come back later for the box he supposed.

 

“Why hello,” He purred, leaning his weight on his staff.

 

The girl was adorable. The scared and anxious look upon her face... The way she slightly trembled... All absolutely cute. She looked familiar though… he couldn’t place what it was. He could tell that she was trying to feign bravery. After years of perfecting his own fake emotions, he was able to read other fake emotions easily. She was terrified. He liked it.

 

“C-Chat?” She called quietly.

 

He could only smile at that. Did he feel amused about this...? This was how it felt to be amused… it probably was anyway. He let the worry slip his mind, already knowing that it wasn't worth having anyway.

 

“What's wrong…?” He asked in a faux tone of worry, reveling in the way her eyes darted around his face warily.

 

He had already gotten rid of most of his worry already. Admittedly he could have poured more into those brats that pretended to care. The way they cried 'oh chat noir whats happened?'. It had annoyed him to no end. That reporter girl was probably just gathering information for that useless blog of hers. Then that other boy with her was a complete coward. They deserved it. Although it was fun to see the lovers start tearing each other apart afterward. He let a smirk grace his features at the thought. He was pretending emotions again yes, but now he had control and could pretend anything. He wasn't feeling trapped by pretending, but rather exhilarated.

 

He took a step forward, leading the girl to try to stumble away.

 

“Kitty, please,” She breathed backing into the alley's wall, now efficiently trapped in a dead end. Hah, dead end. Now that was funny.

 

He felt a giggle of excitement run through him. He started to step forward, holding his baton threateningly. All it took was a single touch to give his feelings away. That's what good people do though. They donate and share what they have with those around them.

 

He continued to step forward until he was at an arm's length from her. She seemed to be limping he noticed. Perhaps with some sorrow, she will become numb to it? He was still a nice guy, after all, he was helping an innocent citizen with an injury. He was only sharing his feelings. That's what they mean by that saying right? He lifted his baton, feeling his claws glide across the course metal.

 

“Don’t worry. This won’t hurt at all princess.”

 

His breath caught in his throat. His voice faltered, his silky tone from before gone.

 

What... what did he say?

 

Did… he call her...

 

Why was he hesitating? Why did he call that girl… Why did…

 

He started to hyperventilate, his own bad feelings starting to invade once more. Why was he acting like this? Who was this girl to him? Why wasn’t he able to execrate Marinette?

 

**_Marinette._ **

 

It was from that thought that he was brought a sliver of memory. A small shard in the glass that separated Copemate Execration and Chat Noir coming undone and feeding a once broken link. It made his miraculous on his hand only burn all the more.

 

_ “H-Hi Adrien!” The shy girl stuttered before him, face beaming red. _

 

_ It was cute on how she would greet him in the morning. He hadn’t had somebody do that with actual intent in a long time. It was always his mother to... Well, it's been a long time. _

 

_ “Hey, Marinette.” He smiled back at her, finding it surprisingly easy to form one to her. _

 

_ She was always doing that. Between her and Ladybug, they both really knew how to loosen him up. Then again… maybe they did it on purpose. Had they noticed? He didn’t think that they noticed anything. He always made sure to smile and be polite. Or wait… had he made sure to hide his bags this morning? She is probably just feeling worthless pity for him. He didn’t deserve such a thing. _

 

_ “Adrien?” Marinette questioned, surprisingly coherent. _

 

_ He simply hummed, trying to get his thoughts on track. It never really worked though, not for long. He could blame it on feeling tired though, that always seemed to work. _

 

_ “H-Hey do you think you could help me with my science paper later? I-it's just that you are really smart in science. NOT that you aren’t smart in e-everything else! You are really good at explaining science terms. N-Not that you aren't good at explaining other things as well!” Marinette stopped herself from saying anything else, her face now completely red. “C-Could you?” _

 

_ Adrien felt a weird sense of warmth flutter in his chest from the question. Not only was she asking to use his time, actually trying to be near him, but she also thought he was smart. It wasn’t very true of course. A small part of him wanted to believe it though. Was Marinette saying the truth? Was this a joke? _

 

_ “Yeah, I would gladly help.” He said, feeling that warmth spread as she gave a huge smile. _

 

_ She actually wanted to spend time with him. She actually… _

  
  


He let out a startled wine, holding his head in pain. Marinette was seemingly frozen against the wall, having no clue of the inner battle consuming him. He felt almost lightheaded like somebody stuffed a bunch of cotton candy in his head. Yet it also hurt so much, as if they drilled into his head to get it in there in the first place. The burning feeling on his hand was awful like he touched a hot pan straight out from the oven.

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

He felt himself start running, without thought.

 

Why was he doing this? Why did he say sorry? This doesn’t make sense! None of this makes sense. Nobody cares! Nobody listened! Nobody actually needed him. Marinette was contradicting all of his thoughts, making his head churn. 

 

Forcing himself to stop, Copemate Execration found himself catching his breath. He looked up to see that there was a store on the side. Perfect. He can just dispel this onto another person. He doesn’t need this worry. He was supposed to be free. He was supposed to be a bright star without any worry or anger. 

 

This is what he wants. This is what he had asked for. He should be having fun with this. He felt a grin spread on his face, but still felt a small amount of weight in doing so. Time to do some therapeutic sharing! He let out a laugh at that, smashing his hand through the glass of the store. Compared to the burning on his hand, the glass barely even hurt.

 

The screams inside only made him that much happier. 

  
  


Despite everything….

  
  


A small ember was starting to burn.

  
  


Memories were starting to resurface.

  
  
  


A lost boy is starting to wake up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO uh.... yeah.
> 
> I mayyyy have been a little too excited to write this as I have had it planned for a couple days now. Honestly, I don't know whether to be scared or proud that I can pull off writing a delusional character haha.  
> Welp, hope you enjoyed this as much as I did. =^.^=


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyo! Sorry about the wait. I am a lot busier on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday and don't get as much free time as other days. Not a ton of action in this one but... hope you enjoy regardless!

Marinette didn’t know how to feel at that moment. Yes, she was shaken up and confused, but now she was worried as well. The way he spoke to her with that tone of voice. It sounded like a genuine apology. She started to remove herself from the dirty wall, cringing at the weight put on her foot. She continued to limp down the alley, heavily using the wall for the support her leg couldn’t provide.

That look in his eyes, the way he stopped breathing. He was still in there. Her partner had to still be in there after all. She gave a small hiss as she stepped on her leg rather harshly at the end of the wall. She turned to see if Copemate Execration was still around. She wasn't in any shape to fight, at least not in civilian form.

She looked down the road to see a few damaged cars and a lone teddy bear. It was eerily silent in the vicinity, making Marinette guess Copemate had already been there and left. He wasn’t exactly a very quiet Akuma.

“He’s gone.” She sighed.

Was she sad? Happy? Honestly, she didn’t know how to feel about this new development. Her partner was in there… her partner was witnessing all the damage his akumatized self-was causing. He was watching as he nearly hurt her with his baton. He was... She found herself looking up from the ground, needing something else to focus on.

Her wish came true, as while in her gaze she noticed a billboard, or rather what was left of it. Half of it was rusted and burned off, while the rest stood without a trace of any of the dark destruction that raged against the corner. It was seemingly targeted, as nothing around it was destroyed as well.

“Tikki…” She breathed, needing a second pair of eyes to look at the object.

Tikki floated up next to her, looking at where she faced. Her eyes widened, probably coming to the same conclusion as Marinette. That wasn't just any kind of destruction...

“That looks like Chat’s cataclysm, doesn’t it?” Marinette breathed, looking over at it once more.

All that confused her, however, was the fact only a corner of it was gone. The rest seemed to be attacked by a sharp set of claws. Marinette could only barely make out what the picture used to be, having only recognized it by the sliver of green eyes that stared back.

“It shouldn’t have just destroyed the corner like that,” Tikki said a matter of factly.

She floated farther out, now just ahead from Marinette. Marinette could only watch as the ancient being before her spoke.

“His cataclysm destroys an entire item or multiple in small increments. It doesn’t just destroy something part way like that.” Tikki continued, still staring at it.

Marinette could only assume that the Kwami was thinking intently, not really paying attention to whether Marinette was listening or not. Marinette turned to the billboard again, trying to figure it out herself. The way it suddenly stopped and the rust turned to simple cracks. The way the burn marks also stop abruptly. It seemed like his cataclysm worked, but only a little.

It was a little disturbing to see. It was like she was seeing something unfinished or impossible, making her want to turn away and forget it. It made her head spin in confusion.

“What I do know is that is an Agreste fashion ad. I can still see Adrien's eyes on it.” Marinette told the kwami, still looking at the billboard with a grimace. “If Copemate really did target to destroy that sign…”

The kwami turned to her. Tikki might have only started listening now, considering she was in such a daze before. Marinette only continued to speak, letting the kwami figure out the obvious by herself.

“It wasn’t just this one. I remember seeing quite a few billboards destroyed. They were all torn with scratch marks though. Nothing like that.” Marinette continued, not noticing the kwami’s fear-stricken look.

“His miraculous…”

She said it so low that Marinette almost didn’t hear. The kwami was staring at her, but it was as if she was in another world. Marinette knew that this situation had to be quite dire, as Tikki isn’t usually like this. She is a very bubbly but yet wise as a kwami. She doesn’t usually sit deathly still and stare out into space. She was the one that grounded Marinette, not the other way around.

“What?” Marinette questioned, trying to regain the kwamis attention.

Tikki let out a breath before looking at Marinette. She blinked a few times, probably to regain her thoughts before flying over to float right in front of Marinette's face.

“Did he still have his miraculous on when he attacked you?” She asked, some urgency in her voice.

Marinette blinked a few times in confusion. Why was Tikki suddenly so interested in his miraculous? Was there something that Marinette wasn’t aware of?

Marinette did as the kwami said, thinking about it again. The creepy giggle… that excited kid in a candy store looks in his eyes… Him pointing his baton at her...

“Yeah, he did. The paws on it were a bright red and it was cracked.” Marinette recalled, remembering his empty grin standing before her, holding the baton threateningly at her in a way that allowed Marinette to clearly see the ring.

Tikki only seemed to get more distraught with those words. She started to fly around, something Marinette recognized as something the small creature did whenever nervous. There was something terribly wrong wasn’t there? Tikki was completely out of character at the moment. It made Marinette unbearably nervous. And anyone would know that two anxious people freaking out together only ends in a catastrophe.

“Plagg is still in his ring. Oh no...” Tikki blurted sounding near to tears, in which Marinette gave a confused stare. “Plagg is his kwami. I think that because he was akumatized while transformed that… I think that because he was still transformed that the Akuma corrupted his miraculous. Oh gosh…”

Marinette could only blink at that. She turned to the billboard, taking in the features once more. It would make sense that his miraculous became corrupted from the akumatization. That might also be the reason why his ears and tail looked so… raggedy. Marinette let out a breath, finalizing her decision.

“Tikki we need to get to him fast. I think the best way is to check the Agreste mansion. He has to have been or even be there right now.” Marinette reasoned.

Tikki stopped mid-flight and nodded, agreeing. Marinette gave a small smile at that and brought a hand out to her kwami. Her small friend eagerly took in the blanket of warmth her hand provided, seeming to calm down the kwami.

“We can do this Tikki. We are going to save them.” Marinette said confidently before a small sigh. “We have to…”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adrien is okay... He is fine! This doesn't mean anything!

For some reason, the Agreste mansion, if she hadn’t of known better, seemed abandoned. The gate wasn’t locked and was swinging loosely with the small gusts of wind that came around now and again. The door was wide open, mostly because one was ripped from the hinges and now lay pitifully on the ground. Glass was scattered everywhere from broken windows.

 

The inside wasn’t any better. Everything was trashed. The carpet was torn, the chandelier was laying in broken pieces on the floor, plants that used to thrive were long since dead. It was like somebody went on a rampage and destroyed everything they saw in here. It made a shiver crawl up Ladybugs spine.

Why does my partner have such a hate in the Agrestes? He has mentioned a few times that he isn’t fond of them but… this felt like way more than that. This was pure awful and just... oh god is that a painting of Gabriel and Adrien? It’s completely torn! I can’t even see their faces anymore...

A lump started to grow in her throat, looking at it all. She walked to the stairs, remembering briefly on where Adrien's room lies. She needed to know. Was Adrien still here? Was his room trashed as well? Was he able to escape from Copemate Execrations wrath? Her thoughts were all answered as she pushed open his bedroom door.

The sight before her surely didn’t make the lump in her throat go away, or give any answers to her questions that she was looking for. One of the glass panes from the giant wall of glass seemed to be shattered as if something heavy smashed into his window. His couch was sitting sideways laying haphazardly, somehow making it look small in comparison of the bed it was sitting upon. The shelves that once were neat and tidy up top were now a complete mess. Some of the books and movies managed to fall down from the second floor and were now laying on the carpet and hardwood floor.

His rock climbing wall was now his rock stepping wall since it was on the floor across the room. Not to mention the ladybug doll that was ripped in half on the floor. What really bothered her though was the scratches that littered the walls.

Some were shallow and mindless, while others deep as the rage within. Ladybug could almost see Copemate Execration now, running around and trashing the room. She could imagine him running from wall to wall and letting his claws dig into them. She could almost hear that empty impersonation of a laugh all over again.

She flicked her attention to another wall, wishing to stop her wandering thoughts. There were some scratches that resembled words, but some were too jumbled to really make sense of. She started her way over to one of the walls, being careful as to not step on the broken set of monitor screens. She could make out some immediately as she got closer, making her shudder. Why would he leave such messages like these all over Adriens bedroom?

**NO MORE**

**I HATE IT**

**STOP IT**

**ADRIEN AGRESTE IS DEAD**

**I AM A LIE**

**WHO AM I**

**I AM NOT ADRIEN AGRESTE**

**NO MORE**

The words seemed to go on and on. Each one making her eyes start to sting and bring tears to the surface. This sounded a lot more personal now that she looked at them in detail. Adrien Agreste is dead? She couldn’t help but feel her heart thump in fear.

She had forgotten about her leg in the midst of the chaos running in her mind. She felt herself fall against the wall that had her in such horror in the first place. Wait.. why did it start hurting again? She barely noticed, she couldn’t help but read the scratches over and over in her mind.

“Marinette? Marinette?” Tikki called, a worrisome tone in the kwamis voice.

Marinette turned her head, just enough to be able to face her little friend. That's why the pain was back, she had de-transformed... She would probably be going crazy by now if she didn’t have Tikki to talk to. She had Alya, but she could only tell her so much. She needed somebody to tell her what she was seeing was fake. Some kind of reassurance that the words were all a lie. She was sort of glad that she had de-transformed.

“Oh…” Marinette heard Tikki breath, probably just noticing the damage around them.

The kwami flew over to Marinette's small line of sight once again. It was a little blurry albeit, as tears were ruining her sense of sight.

“Tikki it says…”

“Listen to me, Adrien is okay. Adrien is not dead. He is just fine.” The kwami hurriedly tried to say, obviously lying.

How could she know that he was okay? Copemate was probably the last person to see him. She had no proof that he was okay.

“I know that he is okay, just, please… trust me.” Tikki tried.

Oh had she said those last thoughts out loud? She didn’t even notice.

“You don’t know that…” Marinette continued, facing the kwami more.

She was laying her complete side against the wall, letting it take most of her weight. It probably wasn’t too smart of a thing to do considering how damaged it was.

“Adrien is fine, I know that he is.” The kwami lied again.

Marinette gave Tikki a look, one that truly expressed how distraught and scared she was. What would she do without Adrien? How could she live a life without that precious boy in it? She was losing her partner, and now she lost the love of her life as well. Everything she cared about was burning to ashes… why was she even trying at this point?

“Marinette.” The kwami’s voice was now more serious than ever. “I know you didn’t want to know from something like this, but it is all I can do. We need to get to him as fast as possible. I know Adrien is fine because Adrien Agreste is Chat Noir.”

 

What…?

Marinette looked at the kawmi, searching for any traces that she was lying. She saw how serious Tikki was, and how confidently she held her crossed arms.

 

She was telling the truth she…

 

Adrien was…

 

Marinette let out a breath, lifting her free arm to wipe at her face. Jeez, how long had she been crying like a baby for?

“We need to save him. Before you really do lose him.” Tikki said once again in a serious tone.

Marinette nodded and looked at the kwami. She had to stop falling into these pits of feelings. She needed to be strong. She needed to be the Ladybug that everyone looked up to. She needed to save the day.

“Okay….” She nodded, trying to get her confidence back once more.

She didn’t even feel anything about the news she just learned, or even what the messages on the walls really meant. She was too focused on the task at hand. The task to save the man who was truly a star, that was being taken over by the dark.

She gave a shaky breath before letting herself try to speak.

“T… Tikki spots on.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the wait. Not only was school kicking my butt, but so wasn't my creativity. I rewrote this part 3 times because I just wasn't happy with it. I am more confident in this version though. Hope you enjoy and have a great day! =^.^=


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys its official. I freaking suck at writing action scenes. Here is my best shot at something that contains action. :P

It wasn’t the most foolproof plan in the world, but it was the best she could think of. Ladybug stood atop the Eiffel tower, screaming out into the wind. Her hopes were that Copemate Execration would notice her, and run over. Despite that, she couldn’t really tell if that was really going to happen. He only seemed to pay attention to things that either brought him attention or seemed fun after all.

Judging by the hearty bang that sounded behind her, she guessed that she was at least one of those things. She turned, preparing herself for what she may see. She wasn’t exactly expecting it, because who would, but he looked like he just came back from vacation. Quite literally by the lei, he had around his neck and the tilted top hat he wore.

“You know, some people are trying to sleep.” He said, waving his hand out to the general direction of the ground.

It was hard not to scrunch her face up at the terrible joke. It was technically morning now, there were plenty of people that woke around eight am.

“Sorry to interrupt your catnap, but I’m afraid we have some business to take care of.” She spoke, using jokes to cover up her underlying uneasiness.

He raised his eyebrows at this, using his baton to carry his weight for him. He tilted his head slightly, causing his already askew hat to fall from his head.

It made her heart hurt to see the sight as it was something Chat always did whenever he was thinking. It just made her miss her partner and feel even more desperate to save him.

“You must really have a deathwish to call me up here with you. I’m not exactly…” He raised himself from the baton now using one of his hands to twirl it absentmindedly. “One to talk. I like to think that actions speak much better than words.”

His face broke into a smile at that, as he started to try to walk towards Ladybug. She was quick to take out her yo-yo, trying to get a good look at him. Little did he know, she only let him talk so she could study his features and figure out where the Akuma was dwelling.

With a small shout, he swung the cursed baton. Ladybug quickly dodged it, feeling the wind caused from the batons inertia hit her instead. He lurched again. Ladybug quickly formed a makeshift shield from her spinning yo-yo. He broke the baton in half at the realization that she wouldn't simply let him hit her, throwing both of the pieces right for her.

She was able to narrowly jump over one, but the other caught her while she was still in midair. She hissed as she landed harshly on her injured ankle. He gave a smug grin, already knowing that he was taking effect on her.

This time she didn’t really notice any change in her emotions.

She stupidly tried to run at him while he was unarmed, which led to her getting a rather nasty claw mark on her arm. She should have known better than to just run at him. She was smarter than this, she knew that!

He pushed his hand out, curling and uncurling his fingers in a ‘come here’ motion. The broken baton turned into smoke and returned to him, as it had done before. Now with his main weapon back in his hands, he was ready to strike the undoubtedly weaker one again.

She kept dodging his attacks, not wishing to hurt him. It was extremely reckless and stupid of her to do such a thing just because her feelings got in the way. She breathed out a heavy breath, managing to get a good distance away from him, while also staying far from any edges. She was a clumsy idiot after all.

“Lucky charm!”

She called out, in desperate need of some kind of guidance, like a lost dog. She felt a wash of energy flow into her Yo-yo that was flying into the air. Small ladybugs came out from it, creating an object to help her. What it gave her, wasn’t something she really understood. Not that she usually did anyway. She was a bit slow when it came to understanding things.

“A paper heart?” She questioned under her breath.

Copemate had no care over her train of thought and caught up to her, nearly nailing her with an attack. She swung her Yo-yo at him recklessly, not really paying attention like she should have. Instead, her mind was too busy scrambling for an idea from the lucky charm.

She tripped over her own leg like an idiot and fell onto the metal below. She let out a grunt, opening her eyes to see Copemate above her. He held a crazed grin, probably very pleased with how she destroyed herself without him needing to try.

She looked up at him before a memory came to mind. Dark cupid… The kiss… The poem she sent Adrien. Her mind clicked, finally figuring out what the charm meant.

Copemate went to stab her chest with his baton, but she rolled out of the way in time to instead hear it clank hs. She steadied herself and stood up with wobbly legs.

“Your hair shines like the sun, your eyes are gorgeous green, I look at you and wonder your innermost thoughts and dreams.” She started to recite, remembering the poem as if she wrote it yesterday.

Copemate froze at the words, seemingly confused. He still tried to attack her seconds after the initial shock, a new look in his eyes that Ladybug couldn’t place.

“Yes, your Valentine I will be, our love will be so true, together for eternity, my heart belongs to you.” She finished, narrowly dodging a swing that would no doubt have sent her flying off the tower.

He suddenly yelled out in what Marinette recognized as anger. This was new, she hadn’t gotten Copemate Execration angry before. He seemed to be oblivious to any anger or sadness he held. She might be onto something for once. He ripped off the lei that was on his neck, throwing the now broken flower necklace to the ground.

“If I could be anything in world,  
I would be your tears” She started again, trying to think of something else without thought.

“Conceived in your heart, born in your eyes, live on your cheek, and die on your lips.” She ended.

He visibly seemed to flinch at that one. He raised his hand into the air, letting his baton fall to the ground.

“Cataclysm!”

The energy that usually went to his arm wasn’t the same. She could see the way it could barely keep up. The energy that surrounded his hand looked as broken and ready to fall apart as Marinette was.

He slammed his hand onto the metal below, starting to rust it. Only a small portion was rusted out before the energy of the cataclysm seemed to sputter out. It hadn’t even rusted far enough to even bother Ladybug.

She looked at him more, still trying to figure it out. It was hard when all of his clothing he was adorned with were all around the same color as an akumatized object would be. He looked back at her, a gleam of anger in his eyes. She looked down from them unconsciously. She found herself staring at his chest instead, or rather to the one thing still left from Chat’s original suit that seemed rather untouched.

The bell was the same ominous color as what other akumatized objects looked like in the past. It even seemed to absorb the light around it, giving it a dark and unpolished appearance. It wasn't torn or cracked like all the other surviving Chat noir clothing, it was still completely whole.

She felt a boost of confidence overtake her, riding of the past negative thoughts. She jumped over the rusted spot and promptly wrapped her yo-yo string around Copemate. He immediately started to struggle against the binds, that look never leaving his eye. It was hatred, it wasn’t just anger, but an underlying hatred as well.

She ripped the bell from the suit before something overtook her. It was so painful. Her mind blanked out. She lost her balance and fell onto the rusted spot.

She reflexively grabbed onto the remaining metal with her free hand. It was then as she looked at her hand that she realized she had de-transformed. Her throbbing leg that was the cause of her fall in the first place seemed to confirm that. She was dangling dangerously with only one hand to hold her, next to an Akuma. Wait... that also meant…

She looked up and saw that her yo-yo was indeed no longer around Copemate Execration. Leaving him free to kill her right there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! :D
> 
>  
> 
> ALSO: Credit to   
> https://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/if-i-could-be-anything
> 
> For that second poem. I kept trying but I just couldn't write a good one. :")


	9. Chapter 9

Marinette stared up at Copemate, feeling numb. The only thing that kept her fogged mind grounded was her wounded leg that kept shooting sparks of pain up her leg. Copemate didn’t do anything as he stared. It was as if he was an empty shell or a robot that got turned off.

She tried to steady her breathing, putting all her energy into holding onto the cold metal. Her wrist felt taught, and it hurt as she slightly swung from side to side.

“Marinette!”

She turned, seeing her little friend, Tikki. Oh gosh, it was really nice to see Tikki right now. Then again… it kinda wasn’t. Tikki looked to be fighting her own battle, she looked like she could collapse from exhaustion at any second. She held a tired but yet panicked face.

“Crush the bell, I can purify the Akuma!” Her squeaky voice called to her.

That seemed to wake Copemate from his trance. Marinette swung her head to look at him. He shook his head, an angry look crossing his face. He held that dark look, as he raised his foot.

Marinette cried out once he slammed his foot back down harshly onto her hand. She reflexively crunched the bell in her other hand, trying to stabilize herself. Her fingers felt like they were on fire. She was losing grip. Her hand just hurt too much to carry all the weight.

It happened in almost slow motion. At least, that's what it felt like. Her fingers brushed against the edge of the metal, giving her nerves a slight tingle from the cold gentle touch. She felt all the air that was in her lungs escape as she suddenly felt weightless. Something flashed in Copemate Execrations eyes, something that made her think of her partner. He might have grabbed for her, but she couldn’t tell.

It was too late. She was already falling.

She suddenly didn’t feel so weightless anymore. She was a sinking stone. Her hair wrapped around her head slightly, covering her ears. She couldn’t even hear her own thoughts. All she could hear was the wind rushing past her, making the situation all the more real.

She saw a white butterfly fly from the top, and she felt a weight come off from her chest. A small smile tugged at her lips at the realization that she had at least saved her partner.

She saved the man that meant everything to her, even her own life.

That's when she felt herself impact against something.

 

 

 

 

 

  
Only it wasn’t the ground that she had hit.

She felt the grip of strong arms around her. She breathed in a gulp of air, opening her eyes. When had she closed them?

She stared up at her savior, her mind a mess. Well, it wasn’t as much as a mess as Chats hair, that's fur sure. Hah. She made a cat joke. She felt the smile from before return at the thought.

They landed roughly on the ground, Chat seemingly exhausted himself. She was placed in a sitting position, as she couldn’t stand. She stared up at Chat, feeling her heart thump with a feeling she couldn’t quite describe. It was like she was seeing and feeling everything she has ever wanted, completely entranced by him.

When he fell to the ground though, her heart stopped beating for a second, her trance gone in a flash.

“Chat?” She cried, seeing as he was now on his knees.

She got up onto her knees as well, carefully crawling over closer to him. He was dead silent.

She couldn’t see his face, as his hair and the fact he had his head down hid it from her. This wasn’t what usually happens after an Akuma, and it really bothered her.

Why was he acting like this? Nobody else had really been like this after being akumatized. They all just didn’t remember anything. Chat though, he seemed so defeated.

 

“...had to go and…” She heard him mumble under his breath.

 

She was about to reach out and touch his shoulder when a sob erupted from him. He brought his hands to his head, shaking with every violent sob that rushed through him. Marinette felt tears of her own start to arise at the sound. Her kitty was hurt...

“Chat... “ She tried, feeling her heart tug in pain. “Do you… remember?”

He continued as if she had never spoken in the first place. He continued to sob… Then he started to talk, or rather, yell.

 

“You just had to get upset!” He yelled, making Marinette flinch away from him.

She hadn’t expected that sudden outburst either. He was angry, wasn’t he? That's why he wasn’t looking at her. She should have realized and saved him faster. She probably disappointed him.

“Chat I-”

“You fail and fail again! You can’t even be good enough for Ladybug!” He yelled in frustration, completely cutting Marinette off.

Marinette felt her apology die on her tongue.

What… did he say?

“Stop being such an attention seeker! You are supposed to be perfect, nothing else! Why do you always make it about you!” He screamed again, anger and sadness very clear in his voice.

 

She felt her blood run cold.

 

The torn billboard….

 

The messages on the wall…

 

_Adrien Agreste is dead, who am I, I am a lie…_

 

 

“Chat.” She felt herself say despite herself.

No, she had to be wrong. Although the Akuma usually reflected the problem that caused the akumatization in the first place. He was rejecting his feelings and putting it into others… He was empty… He destroyed his own room…

“Why can’t you just be good enough! Why are you so…”

Marinette couldn’t handle the self-deprecation he was spewing anymore, she lunged at him. She didn’t care about her injured ankle, or that he flinched away from her hug. All she cared about, was letting Adrien see the truth.

 

He looked at her for the first time since they talked on the rooftops. His fluffy hair and smirk were now gone, replaced with red eyes, tears, and messy dirty hair. He stared up at her, his green eyes unbearably guilt-ridden.

“I’m so sorry.” He whispered.

 

She placed her hands on his shoulders, trying to get him to look at her. He only continued to hang his head down facing the ground.

“You have nothing to be sorry about.” She tried to tell him.

He only let out a small empty laugh at that.

“I failed you again… I just keep weighing you down…”

She scrunched her eyebrows in slight frustration. She took one of her hands and lifted his chin to properly look at her.

 

“Listen. I am not angry, or disappointed. I am just really happy to know that you are okay. You are the best man I have ever met. You put others before yourself constantly. I think though… that right now you need to put yourself first.” She started to say.

 

His face showed confusion, while his eyes flashed with hope. She had to tell him. She couldn’t lose him, not again. She already had a taste for what that pain would be, she never wanted to feel that heartbreak ever again.

“You are smart, talented, brave, and kind. I have looked up to you for guidance just because you are amazing. I like Adrien Agreste for who he is, and the same goes for Chat Noir. I love you, all of you.”

 

He was completely still in her hold. His ring beeping caught Marinette's attention. Chat seemed oblivious to it, still staring at her as if she were his entire world. Just the thought brought a warm feeling to her face.

“I care about you so much. You are perfect with just being yourself, and I want to show you that.” She finished.

She didn’t know everything, not yet. There were probably dozens of other things he hated himself for. She vowed that she was going to find each and every one of his insecurities, she was going to help her kitten.

 

“Why…?” He asked lowly, his voice slightly cracking from his previous yelling.

Even more frantic beeping.

“You actually… like me back?” He questioned.

 

She wanted to just kiss him to death right there. All previous embarrassment and nervous energy were out the window. She was going to give this boy all of her attention, no matter who or what comes along. Hell, she would walk right up to his dad and slap him if that's what Adrien needed.

His miraculous gave a final last beep. His transformation disappeared right before her eyes. Left sitting there was a disheveled Adrien Agreste.

 

“I love you to the moon and back.” She said, meaning every word.

 

"Adrien!" The voice made her jump slightly.

A small black cat looking kwami was smiling brightly. Relief filled Marinette. She turned to look at Adriens miraculous. Sure enough, the crack was gone. Tikki had probably done a miraculous cure while up top too. She just didn't notice with her mind all fogged up from the fall.

"Plagg?" Adrien questioned.

His kwami or Plagg his name was, flew and hugged Adriens cheek tightly.

"Don't ever scare me like that ever again kid! You had me really worried."

Marinette giggled a little, seeing the small smile that now adorned Adriens features from the gesture.

"PLAGG!"

Suddenly a red blur caught Marinettes attention. Tikki had tackled Plagg down, now hugging him with whatever strength she had left. Marinette smiled at the spectacle, before turning back to Adrien. Adrien looked up at Marinette, a thoughtful look on his face.

 

 

It was at this time that Adrien suddenly felt that warm feeling rise in his chest again. His chest felt tight, but in a way that made his heart skip a beat when he looked into her eyes. He had a purpose, he had a reason to keep going. He had his lady right in front of him, completely accepting him. He had Plagg, and now even a new kwami to be accompanied by. For the first time in a long time, he felt a spark of hope flare up in him.

Maybe… Maybe life could get a little better after all.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was super fun to write this ^u^  
> I am super happy that some of you enjoyed this. Honestly I just kinda wrote the first part thinking it was terrible and posted it anyway as a one-shot. I wouldn't have ever expected what came from it. haha. I hope you all enjoy your day. <3
> 
>  
> 
> OH AND BONUS THING:
> 
>  
> 
> "HOLY SUGAR HONEY ICE TEA." A voice yelled making everyone jump.
> 
> They turned to see a slack-jawed Nino, whom just yelled, and an amused looking Alya.
> 
> "Knew it. Nino, you owe me twenty bucks." Alya simply said all while holding a huge grin.


End file.
